Thursday, April 24, 2014

What's your name?

I have been asked why I didn't use a pen name. I guess I never really thought to use one.  I wanted people to know that I, Amy Heileman Ben-Kiki wrote a book.  Whether people like it or not, think it's crap or love it, it's my work and I'm proud of it.  I have been called so many other things my entire life, I finally have something that is mine and I wanted MY name on it!
I grew up being the youngest of four.  This meant that 99% of the time I was NOT Amy. I was called all of my sister's names or I was simply so and so's sister.  After that, when I started dating my husband, I then became Jay's girlfriend/wife.  I get it, he holds a higher rank in our jobs and he's a bigger presence than I am, and that's ok, because my husband is amazing and I'm proud to be his wife.
When I had my kids, I then became Chase and Cooper's mom (my favorite name so far.)  At their school where my mother-in-law teaches I am Joyce's daughter-in-law.  I wouldn't give up any of those names, but for once I just wanted to be known as me.
I guess I feel like I have had so many names my whole life, that I really didn't want to add another.  I just simply wanted people to know me by my name.  My REAL name.  Just for a moment, I wanted to be known as Amy Heileman Ben-Kiki!
And now I'll happily go back to being so and so's sister, Jay's wife, Chase and Cooper 's mom, Joyce's daughter-in-law, and so on...

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