tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16693850282843122292024-02-08T10:26:23.782-05:00From the eyes of an authorAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14140447882569823609noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669385028284312229.post-46255478177609845952016-03-15T23:57:00.001-04:002016-03-16T00:35:37.898-04:00Behind The Music: Back To MeOk, so it may have taken me a while to get this blog together, but you know what they say.....Better late than never.<br />
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So I hope that everyone liked my playlist for Cutting Through. (BTW, I have figured out how to get the links to work so if you didn't get to listen to it before, go back and do it!) As I said before most of the songs were obvious once you heard them and they were songs that were "given" to Janie from Jake. The songs on this playlist are a little bit different. Some of them were just songs that I liked that went with the 70's/80's theme of Maggie's Mom's love for that music. Those songs lyrics aren't really what drew me to them, so I'm not going to add the links to them. </div>
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Here is a list of those songs:</div>
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"Maggie May" by Rod Stewart </div>
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Well this one was obvious as it is the main characters name. She reveals to Drew that she was apparently conceived while this song was playing. Drew tries to help her change her perception of the song by playing it on the jukebox and making her dance with him.</div>
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"Pour Some Sugar On Me" by Def Leppard</div>
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"Nothin' But A Good Time" by Poison</div>
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You can't have 80's music without the hair bands. They are essential!</div>
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"We Got The Beat" by The GoGo's</div>
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I love The GoGo's, so......</div>
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Some other songs that were mentioned but had no real affect on me were:</div>
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"So What" by Pink</div>
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This is a kick ass song. It was mentioned when Maggie was remembering a time when she and her girlfriends had a night out.</div>
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"Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond</div>
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Being Red Sox fans, this song is a staple!</div>
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"The Sound of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkel</div>
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This is an awesome song. It is very somber and that was definitely the tone in the beginning of the book.</div>
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And now to the songs with the lyrics that got me. These songs either helped inspire a train of thought or made me think about the characters when I heard them playing on the radio.</div>
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"Drive" by The Cars</div>
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One of the themes in the book was that Maggie's mom would send her messages, either through the songs that she listened to or through dreams. This song popped up the night she stayed at Tommy's. It was her mother's way of saying that she needed to figure out what she was doing. Almost as if her mother was telling her that Tommy was not going to be the one that helped her and that she needed to stop pretending that she was ok.</div>
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<a href="https://youtu.be/xuZA6qiJVfU">https://youtu.be/xuZA6qiJVfU</a></div>
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"Signs" by Five Man Electrical Band</div>
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I was introduced to this song by Tesla (the band) and loved it. But I wanted to stay with the 70's/80's theme and went with the original version. The song is about actual signs within our surroundings, but I thought it was fitting for the scene. It came on the radio after a visit to her mom's grave site. It was her mom telling here that she needed to open her eyes to the not so obvious sign that she is given, for example, her mother playing songs or being in her dreams.</div>
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<a href="https://youtu.be/uYsBDmqJfjQ">https://youtu.be/uYsBDmqJfjQ</a></div>
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"Broken" by Lifehouse</div>
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This one is a double whammy for me. When I hear this song I think about when Maggie visits her mother grave site. She is "broken" from her mother's death and she may still be alive but she has a"broken heart that's still beating." This song brought me to that grave site with her and made my heart hurt for her. </div>
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The second verse brings me to Drew, after Maggie left. Maggie was the only one that could get inside of his heart and after she left he was "broken."</div>
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<a href="https://youtu.be/I6cdPeYJh0s">https://youtu.be/I6cdPeYJh0s</a></div>
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"When I See You Smile" by Bad English</div>
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Another sign that Maggie's mother was still with her. In a dream, Maggie's mother was letting her know that she wanted her to go to Maine and move on. Before she was awoken from the dream, her mother smiled at her. To help calm her down when she woke up, she hit play on her mother's playlist and this song came on. This is technically a love song, but in this case I felt like it still worked as a love story between Maggie and her mom. Well, to a certain point. LOL!</div>
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<a href="https://youtu.be/cu6pclWsxzs">https://youtu.be/cu6pclWsxzs</a></div>
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"Won't Give In" by Scott Porter</div>
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Maggie is starting to feel optimistic about starting a new chapter in Maine. I hear this song playing in the background when I play the movie version of my book in my head. She has the windows down and she's driving on the highway, radio on with the wind blowing through her hair.</div>
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<a href="https://youtu.be/8Rgm7N8cfGg">https://youtu.be/8Rgm7N8cfGg</a></div>
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"Barely Breathing" by Scott Porter</div>
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This one is another song that makes me think of both of them. The first verse is Drew talking to Maggie and the second verse is vice versa.</div>
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<a href="https://youtu.be/lzPIXt3pKq8">https://youtu.be/lzPIXt3pKq8</a></div>
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"Pain" by Three Days Grace</div>
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This is one of my favorite bands so of course I found a song that fit. This was the song that was playing in my head when Maggie walked into the house and Drew's stereo was blarring. It's a fitting song for both of them since they are both pretty numb from what they have both lost. They both look for some kind of connection with someone without getting too close, just so they can still feel. Case in point, Maggie allows Tommy to take the lead in bed with her because it's easier for her to follow his direction than to actual think for herself. The same goes for Drew in a way, he sleeps with women but doesn't stick around long enough to find out their names. And if that means a slap in the face, he'll take it.<a href="https://youtu.be/Ud4HuAzHEUc"></a></div>
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<a href="https://youtu.be/Ud4HuAzHEUc">https://youtu.be/Ud4HuAzHEUc</a></div>
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"Save Me" by Elenowen</div>
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The first verse is definitely Drew to Maggie and the second vice versa. They need each other more than they realize and don't see how they are saving each other from their grief.</div>
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<a href="https://youtu.be/6ziPLw2r2ag">https://youtu.be/6ziPLw2r2ag</a></div>
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"Cripple Me" by Elenowen</div>
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This is totally Drew's song. He is so scared to let anyone else in to his heart, afraid that Maggie will lie to him like everyone else. He fights with his feeling for her because of his fear. Having her there for the summer has made him realize that maybe finding out the truth about his parents will be what heals him.</div>
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<a href="https://youtu.be/C1mFtnyjJng">https://youtu.be/C1mFtnyjJng</a></div>
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"Not A Bad Thing" by Justin Timberlake</div>
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At first I imagined them dancing in the bar to this song, but changed my mind as the story changed. This was the night they both realized that there was something more between them and that they should see what happens. And that maybe falling for each other wasn't a bad thing.</div>
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<a href="https://youtu.be/Y8ygKnBtKAk">https://youtu.be/Y8ygKnBtKAk</a></div>
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"Safe" by The Icarus Account</div>
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I picture Maggie and Drew holding each other in bed when I hear this song. </div>
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<a href="https://youtu.be/eM8glzRcqK4">https://youtu.be/eM8glzRcqK4</a></div>
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"Say Something" by Great Big World ft. Christina Aguilera</div>
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When Maggie goes to Drew in the church to talk to him, she is waiting for him to say something to her that will move them back to each other. She is silently pleading with him to say something but he is hurt by her deception and grief stricken by his loss that instead he pushes her away. She knows that the only thing she can do at that point is to let him go.</div>
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<a href="https://youtu.be/-2U0Ivkn2Ds">https://youtu.be/-2U0Ivkn2Ds</a></div>
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"Endless Summer Nights" by Richard Marx</div>
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First off, I LOVE RICHARD MARX AND THIS SONG! Now, this is the song that plays in my head when Drew walks/runs along the beach towards the end of the book. He's actually playing the Justin Timberlake song in his earbuds, but I'm hearing Richard. Drew is thinking back to the when Maggie was there.</div>
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<a href="https://youtu.be/1NvsMKYgCsM">https://youtu.be/1NvsMKYgCsM</a></div>
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That is all folks. I hope you enjoy the music as much as I do. </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14140447882569823609noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669385028284312229.post-33181716086420684522015-11-21T02:14:00.001-05:002016-03-17T23:45:53.692-04:00Behind the Music: Cutting ThroughAs you all know, music has been a big part of my writing. I either get inspired by a song or I hear a song and think, "This is totally a song for...." Other authors have done the same where they have mentioned a song in a scene, and I have started going back and listening to some of those songs so that I can hear what inspired them to use it. SO.... I am going to try my hardest to tell you why I chose certain songs for different scenes in the book Cutting Through. AND provide links to each song. Once you hear them they really just become obvious as to why I used them. OK, here is the list from the beginning. (You may have to copy and paste the link in your browser if it doesn't automatically let you just hit the link. Sorry, that is my lack of tech coming through. Josh, where are you when I need you!!!?)<br />
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"Crazy Love" by Michael Bublé<br />
First off, he has and amazingly sexy voice. Second, I wanted a song that was not only romantic but also a little tongue in cheek. <br />
<a href="https://youtu.be/KKZBDeamZPU">https://youtu.be/KKZBDeamZPU</a><br />
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"Wonderful Tonight" by Eric Clapton<br />
Again, I wanted a classic type of romantic song for them to dance to. It's a song that reminds me of a couple slowly dancing, holding each other close. To me, Jake was into all kinds of music and appreciated the classics. <br />
<a href="https://youtu.be/vUSzL2leaFM">https://youtu.be/vUSzL2leaFM</a><br />
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"Shut Up" by Simple Plan<br />
This is kind of Janie's way of saying fuck off to everyone that has been making her feel like shit. At this point in the story, Jake had done something that pissed her off. She felt as though he was treating her like a child, like someone who couldn't do things on her own. She needed a bit of a release and this was the perfect song to help her.<br />
<a href="https://youtu.be/Lpds3V90VbM">https://youtu.be/Lpds3V90VbM</a><br />
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These next few songs are the ones that Jake "gave" to Janie. When they first met, she kind of gave him the brush off for her music. Then she told him that she needed to listen to her music to run to. He felt that the music would get through to her more than his words, so he would "give" her songs that expressed how he felt.<br />
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"Home" by Philip Philips<br />
Jake knew that starting over for Janie was hard. He wanted her to know that he was there for her. Having her move into the cabin was helping her settle down and making sure she knew that she was home.<br />
<a href="https://youtu.be/HoRkntoHkIE">https://youtu.be/HoRkntoHkIE</a><br />
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"Perfect" by Adam Cappa<br />
Janie was slipping into her dark place and Jake wanted to help her, but had to leave for a few days. Janie insisted that he go and that she would be fine. When I heard this song I knew that it was the perfect song for him to give to her. It says everything that he wanted her to know.<br />
<a href="https://youtu.be/BWss1_GgC1w">https://youtu.be/BWss1_GgC1w</a><br />
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"Dark Side" by Kelly Clarkson<br />
After Jake had his breakdown, he thought it was over with him and Janie. He sent her this song to ask her if she could see past his dark side and love him for who he is.<br />
<a href="https://youtu.be/H5ArpRWcGe0">https://youtu.be/H5ArpRWcGe0</a><br />
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"Just The Way You Are" by Bruno Mars<br />
After Jake brought Janie back from Maryland and he knew things were going to be ok, he wanted to do something special for her that included the other people that meant so much to her. This scene showed the more fun, light hearted side to Jake. Again, the words say everything that he wanted her to know.<br />
<a href="https://youtu.be/LjhCEhWiKXk">https://youtu.be/LjhCEhWiKXk</a><br />
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"All That You Are" by The GooGoo Dolls<br />
After I heard this song I knew this was the one Jake would give to Janie at the end. It was their story to a T. Janie was everything to him, beautifully broken and all. Makes me cry every time I hear it.<br />
<a href="https://youtu.be/DXKcrFze234">https://youtu.be/DXKcrFze234</a><br />
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I will try to put one together for Maggie and Drew. That one will be a little different as the songs I credited in the back were not all mentioned in the book, but were the songs going through my head for certain scenes. I hope you enjoy the music as much as I do. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14140447882569823609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669385028284312229.post-34394571377060326392015-09-18T02:35:00.000-04:002015-09-18T02:37:47.712-04:00I'm baaack!Hello everyone! Yes, I am in fact still alive. I know it has been months since I've posted, and I apologize. I have had some issues in my personal life that have derailed me from my writing. I am hoping that with my upcoming changes I will be able to get back on track. <br />
So, I have started writing my third book. I have the epilogue done and part of chapter one. I am however contemplating a serious overhaul, but that will come in time. My next story is about Faith, one of the characters from Back To Me. It is a "spin-off" or "companion" book and will be the second of a three books series. The third book will be about Dan. <br />
I will keep you all up to date on the progress, as I know your days are not complete without a little glimpse into my madness. ;) Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14140447882569823609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669385028284312229.post-15579708726312457332015-04-02T01:06:00.000-04:002015-04-02T01:06:28.933-04:00Getting personalTrying to get inspired to write anything has been really hard. I feel like I have too much on my plate right now and to be completely honest, I'm starting to get unmotivated. I want people to read my books and tell me what they think. Yes, I've had some of my friends write reviews but really, I only have 7 for Cutting Through and only 3 for Back To Me (all from the same people). I poured my heart into Cutting Through. Yes, the story was extremely personal to me. I know I said it wasn't my story, because it isn't, but so much of it I went through myself. With Back To Me, it was different. I hadn't really experience any of it, maybe just one part, but I still poured myself into it. It might not have been personal, but it was still emotional. Having only a handful of people reading them has really bummed me out lately. I've said it before and I've meant it every time, I don't care about the money. I just want people to read my books and feel the things I did when I wrote them. I want people to be responsive. I want to thank the people who have reached out to me and told me what they thought and the people who have left reviews. I want to know what people think. Good and bad. I know there are errors in my books, I don't have the best grammar and punctuation and all that shit. I don't need to hear about that because I already know, trust me! What I want to know is if you enjoyed the story? Did you like the characters? What was your favorite part? What did you hate about it? I would love to have more people write reviews on Amazon and Goodreads! Make them anonymous if you don't want me to know it's yours! Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14140447882569823609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669385028284312229.post-82151933124346184602015-02-01T02:43:00.000-05:002015-04-02T01:25:08.156-04:00Too much time on my handsSo, as some of you know already, today was my last day at my job. What does that mean for me? Well, unfortunately, unemployment until I can find a new job. That sounds great right? Now I have all this extra time to write. I can get my next book done in record time!!! But there's a problem. I've got nothin'! Ok, maybe not nothing, but very little. I know I want to do 2 spin off books from Back To Me. One book will follow Faith and the other Dan, and I already have their love interests, but their full stories haven't come to me yet. I have more of Dan and Christine's story in my head so I would probably start on that one first. It's just annoying that now that I have all this free time I should be getting writing done. This is just how my life goes I guess. If anyone has read Back To Me and wants to share their thoughts on Dan and Christine or even Faith I would love to hear it! <br />
Also, I know some of you really want a second book for Cutting Through. I have thought about it but I'm still not feeling it. If that changes I will let you all know! But in the mean time, read Back To Me. It's a bit different from Cutting Through but it's still worth the read. It's a love story. How can you go wrong!?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14140447882569823609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669385028284312229.post-48877282612010019892015-01-18T04:24:00.000-05:002015-01-18T04:24:21.369-05:00who cares, right?As the royalties pour in from the new book (LMFAO) I sit and think about how I can get more people to read my books. Hell, I can't even get some of my friends/family to buy them, how the hell am I going to get strangers to buy them? I've said before that I don't care how much money I make on my books and that's true, however I still want to make something! I know if I put <u>Back To Me </u>on for a free promo a lot of people will scoop it up, but the problem with that is that they aren't necessarily reading it! I had hundreds of people get <u>Cutting</u> <u>Through</u> during the free promo, but I only got 3 ratings and one very bad review out of it. Yes I did get other reviews from friends and family but I can't be certain that those are not bias opinions. I mean so many people said they loved the first book but yet they haven't bought the second one yet. I've said this before too, I am not a patient person! I over think everything and I'm hyper critical of myself so every time I check for sales it kills me a little each time. Every time I ask for suggestions I usually don't get any responses so I won't ask. BUT, I will make a desperate plea that if you have read one of my books and liked it please recommend it to a friend, co-worker, neighbor. If you are on Goodreads please either rate the book or leave a review. PLEASE!!! Thank you!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14140447882569823609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669385028284312229.post-66081594109827113802014-12-22T01:49:00.000-05:002014-12-22T01:49:34.210-05:00Starry Nights for inspirationAs I read different books I see similarities in characters and story lines. I have said before that music helps inspire me to write my stories or puts me in the right mood when I need to be in a certain frame of mind. I think that a lot of artists use other people's creations to inspire them. Is that a downfall? Some may think so because it may appear there is a lack of independent creativity, but on the other hand, you are taking something that already exists and turning it into something new, something that has your unique twist to it. <br />
When I was in college I took a creative writing-poetry class. I loved it! But I have to say, most of the assignments I just used poems that I had already written. Until the professor said we needed to write a poem based off of a piece of art. I of course chose to write a poem about one of my favorite paintings, Van Gogh 's Starry Night. What came out of me was so much more than what I had anticipated. I think by writing this poem it helped me understand why I connected with this particular piece. I think that having these works of art to inspire you helps to push you to a level you didn't know existed. They make you feel things deep down that help you discover who you are. And being able to express yourself by using them as tools is a compliment to the artist.<br />
Here is the poem (as you know it is very rare for me to share these)<br />
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Vincent's Starry Night<br />
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I view this painting and I see<br />
a moon, a town, a tree and stars.<br />
I feel the swirling wind on the<br />
back of my neck with the<br />
colors and shades you used;<br />
blues, yellows, black and white.<br />
At first glance I sense:<br />
peace, warmth, tranquility.<br />
You've shown me a<br />
quiet, peaceful, sane<br />
life that doesn't exist<br />
for anyone, especially you.<br />
With each revealing stroke:<br />
blunt, rough, choppy,<br />
I start to understand<br />
what is really being slapped<br />
onto the canvas:<br />
deception, betrayal, hurt and lies.<br />
The way you've conveyed<br />
this night is as crazy as you.<br />
And it is frightening that<br />
I understand the hidden meaning,<br />
because this too is<br />
my town, my moon, my stars, my lies.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14140447882569823609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669385028284312229.post-24264441526429570692014-11-18T16:47:00.000-05:002014-11-18T16:47:19.126-05:00getting inside my headI am at a part in my book that has been extremely hard for me to write. I have tried to wrap my head around the pain and suffering of this character but I have been finding it hard to express it in words. How do you express emotions from events that you know nothing about?<br />
My first attempt was no good. My second was not much better. My "editor" told me it didn't feel right. I struggled for days trying to get into the mindset of this person, trying to feel what she might be feeling. It wasn't until I was having a blah kind of day and just channeled my own demons and was able to get something a bit more real on paper. <br />
After resubmitting the piece I got a more favorable review and I edited it into the book. Some days writing a story can take everything out of you, but in the end gives you so much. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14140447882569823609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669385028284312229.post-55602753710499061362014-10-02T14:20:00.000-04:002014-10-02T14:20:16.344-04:00How many??I know, I know, I haven't written a blog in a while! I'm sorry!!! But I finally have a moment (and a thought) to write.<br />
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So, as you know I was struggling there for a while with writing anything. My last blog probably wasn't that exciting, because all my other ones were! But I have been able to push past it and I have hit the 200 mark!!<br />
When I tell people what page I'm on the most common question I get asked is, "How many pages is the book going to be?" I hate that question, because I don't know if I can answer it. When I start a story I don't set a goal as to how many pages it will be because I don't really know. I write until the story is told and not to a certain page. I mean I hope that the book will end up being at least 250-300 pages, but if the story is done before that than so be it!<br />
I usually know the beginning and the end of my books before I start writing and bits and pieces in between, but to be able to tell you how many pages it will take to get to those points. I have no idea! The spaces in between are usually where I get stuck, but sometimes they end up being some of the best parts of the story.<br />
Well, since I've been on a roll writing my latest I am off to get some pages done! I will try to write another blog soon and not wait so long!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14140447882569823609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669385028284312229.post-39524768983429272262014-08-11T02:07:00.000-04:002014-08-11T08:46:25.052-04:00Under PressureSo, I said I was going to try something new to help me out of my slump. One problem... I CAN'T write!!! I haven't written a single thing in over two weeks!!! I'm forcing myself to write this right now. Why you ask? Well that is an excellent question. I have been asking myself that for the last two weeks. But I think I might have finally figured it out. <br />
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STRESS!<br />
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I have been extremely stressed out in all areas of my life. I was hoping a vacation from work would have helped but it didn't. It actually made things worse, go figure. Although it was great getting away from the daily bullshit of my full-time job, instead I got to stay home and deal with the daily bullshit of my kids on summer vacation. Now don't get me wrong, I love my boys, but my God they can drive a person nuts! I was starting to think they had turned into vampires due to their reluctency of spending any time in the sunlight! <br />
I had planned to get so much writing done on this vacation. It started out great but then fizzled fast. Had an emotional meltdown causing me to lack the motivation to do anything and then after a week of not a single word, I began to panic. I want this new book done before the end of the year. Setting a mental deadline was putting pressure on me. Everyday that I wasn't writing something was another day closer to missing that deadline. But every time I looked at the netbook I just kept walking past it. I didn't want to sit in front of it and feel like a failure. <br />
Now I'm back at work and the stress has doubled. I hate this time of year! The week before the kids go back to school is always extremely stressful for me. My babysitters become less available, work becomes crazy and my husband (due to our schedules/jobs) becomes a figment of my imagination.<br />
I'm hoping that now that I have figured out what is causing my problem I can start to fix it. I was thinking I could take up drinking, but that usually never ends well. So, any ideas to help me destress are welcome. Any help I can get to get "back to me."<br />
See what I did there? I crack myself up!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14140447882569823609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669385028284312229.post-89637491300477426342014-07-14T01:13:00.000-04:002014-07-14T01:13:56.440-04:00So what did you think?So, as some of you know, I received my first bad review last month. I read and reread it trying to figure out what some of the comments actually meant. Now, I understand that not everyone is going to like my stories or my style of writing and I am perfectly fine with that, but when I saw that she placed my title in the category of "books I just couldn't finish," I was dumbfounded. I thought, "wow, was my story THAT bad to her that she couldn't even get to the end? What part did she stop at? What was the breaking point for her?" I was driving myself kind of crazy. My husband and friends were telling me not to let it get to me, that I wasn't going to please everyone. I know that, I was expecting to get bad reviews, but for some reason seeing it placed in that category REALLY bothered me. Then I thought about some of the books I have read, or tried to read. For example, Wicked. Now, a lot of people loved that book and ranted about how great it was. Well, that was one of the books I put into that dreaded category. I tried and tried to get through that book but I just couldn't do it. This story that was made into an amazing musical, which I LOVE, was once just a book I couldn't get through. So, with all of that said, I am no longer thinking about the review in the same way. I am very glad that she shared her opinion, whether I liked it or not. I want to hear what people really think of my book. I want to know what they liked and didn't like. Without these comments I may not get better at telling my stories. So, thank you to everyone who has shared their thoughts and comments. I look forward to hearing more from my readers, both good AND bad!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14140447882569823609noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669385028284312229.post-12138527546279608322014-06-15T00:06:00.000-04:002014-06-15T00:06:12.663-04:00No DoubtWhile I write my new book I've been doubting whether or not the story is any good. I've been forgetful and feeling scatter-brained lately and haven't been feeling confident in myself. I had been reading different things that other authors do as they write so I thought that I would try it. So the one I thought would be the most beneficial was the suggestion to not proof read the book until you are completely finished. I thought, gee that might work since I did miss a bunch of grammatical errors in my first book. I wrote through to Chapter 10 without really rereading much of it.<br />
The result: DISASTER!!!<br />
This process is totally not for me! For a while I just kept thinking, "I'm not sure if I'm writing what I want or even what I'm supposed to be for my characters." It was a terrible feeling to have. I was desperate for an honest critique and handed my pages off to my friend to read. Then I decided to go and reread everything starting from the beginning. After reading it and making a few changes my attitude completely changed. I felt so much better about the story and where it was going. So much so, that I no longer needed to hear my friends review. (Although I do love talking it over with her.)<br />
My advice to other writers is: Choose the process that works for you. No one can tell you how to write your stories but you and your characters. If the process doesn't feel right then something's wrong. Find out what it is and change it. Never doubt the story that you are writing, for it is the story that you were meant to tell, whether people like it or not!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14140447882569823609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669385028284312229.post-24509173252386335842014-06-01T22:37:00.000-04:002014-06-01T22:37:01.902-04:00You're the InspirationI was just recently at a family gathering and was shocked to have someone say that I was an inspiration. As always, because I am not one to take compliments well, I bashfully smiled and said "thank you." I was completely floored that someone would think that I was inspirational. It had to have been one of the most AMAZING compliments of my life!!! <br />
I have never been one to think much of myself and usually don't like to be center of attention (i know some of you may find that hard to believe) so since I've written and published my book, I have had to get over that intimidation fairly quickly. I really just wanted to tell a story and share it with people, I never thought that what I did would inspire anyone. I never thought that writing a book would be so... I can't even think of the right word! I have had people tell me that they were impressed and asked me how I found the time or how was I able to it. I guess I just thought that anyone could do it, even a full time mom with a full time retail job, like me. Even with my awesome compliment I still don't think I'm anything special. I'm just a girl that had a story to tell and told it. <br />
I do want to thank Tammy again for the incredible compliment. I love being a part of your family and having you all in my life! Your words and love mean so much to me.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14140447882569823609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669385028284312229.post-65165105410259880982014-05-20T04:01:00.000-04:002014-05-20T04:01:46.993-04:00Buy My BookBeing an independent author seemed to be the best option for me. I am impatient and I don't do well with rejection, so publishing my book through Createspace killed two birds with one stone. I wouldn't have to wait years for a publisher to agree to publish my book and no one would be able to say no to it if I did it myself. All I had to do was write the book. People think writing a book is hard (which it is), but trying to promote and sell one all by yourself is a hell of a lot harder! <br />
I have done the whole social media thing, even tweeting, which I'm still not very good at. I have started this blog, which has been the most fun out of all of this. And I have begged friends and family to tell others about my book. That should sell my books, right? WRONG! Now, granted, I have sold about 40 books now, which I am super excited about, but I really was hoping it would have been more. This is where my impatience comes in.<br />
I know I have to understand that I am a no name writer and this is my first book, and these things take time. I guess I just want people to read it!<br />
I've been asked about how much money I've made off the book. Almost nothing, which is ok. I'm not writing these stories for the money, I'm writing them for people to read. I want them to be shared with others. Is it exciting to see money go in to my account when I sell one? Absolutely! But to me the most exciting part is knowing that someone is reading one of my stories. <br />
I've read different ways to get people to buy my book, most of them are by bribing the reader with fancy gifts, but that's not how I roll. I want people to read my book because it looks interesting or because someone they know said it was a great read. And I want people to write reviews that they mean, and not because I bought their opinions. <br />
I guess I just need to be patient and wait. And hope like hell that my book will get into the hands of more people. And while I wait, I will keep writing my stories and be grateful for every single time someone buys a copy of my book.<br />
P.S. Thank you to everyone who has bought a copy, reviewed it and told a friend about it. You guys ROCK! Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14140447882569823609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669385028284312229.post-51695826143736184012014-05-06T02:57:00.000-04:002014-05-06T02:57:22.311-04:00Back To MeI think I wanted to get a tattoo before I was even at the legal age, but never got one because I have issues with permanent decisions. LOL! But last year for my birthday I finally did it! I thought long and hard about what I wanted to have and where. People have since questioned me about it and some have even teased me, but in the end I couldn't be happier with it. <div>
The whole process only took me about 20 years! I was scared to get one because I didn't want to regret my choice in a year or two. If I did a picture or a name or even a symbol, would it be relevant to me in the future? So I waited. But last year was the year, the year of me. I accomplished so many things for myself and I wanted to celebrate it. So I sat down and drew a few designs, but still wasn't sure, and then it hit me.</div>
<div>
Years ago I had written a poem and the last line of it (although the poem is about a different circumstance) just fit my life at that moment, so that was what I decided on. I knew that having something that I had personally written would be relevant and have meaning forever. The poem is actually about being strong enough to fight your way back to yourself. In a way that was what I was doing last year. Writing this book was a dream of mine that I had put on the back burner so that I could be a wife and mother. I kind of lost who I was along the way. You get lost in your roles of life and sometimes forget who you were.</div>
<div>
This book is who I am and what I want to be doing. I love that my kids were able to be part of the experience and see that you can make your dreams come true if you fight hard enough. </div>
<div>
So I will show off my tattoo and be proud of it and of myself. I proved that I am strong enough to do the things I've dreamed of doing even though they may scare the shit out of me! And that is why I named my second book Back To Me. It was the perfect fit for the story.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Here is the poem in it's entirely:</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Running</div>
<div>
By Amy Heileman Ben-Kiki</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I remember running into you</div>
<div>
Our eyes met and my heart</div>
<div>
Raced furiously from head to toe.</div>
<div>
Your bright smile blinded me</div>
<div>
from seeing anything</div>
<div>
Other than you.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I remember running to you</div>
<div>
When you said that you loved me.</div>
<div>
These words deafened</div>
<div>
Me from reason</div>
<div>
And made me sense</div>
<div>
What wasn't there.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I remember running with you</div>
<div>
On the sun stroked beach.</div>
<div>
The world disappeared</div>
<div>
With the sensations of your lips.</div>
<div>
The warmth that filled me</div>
<div>
Took the chill from the air.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I remember running from you</div>
<div>
When you raised an open fist.</div>
<div>
Your jealous rage had</div>
<div>
Thrown me to the ground and</div>
<div>
Awoken me from a deep unconscious.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
And I remember running back.....</div>
<div>
To Me.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14140447882569823609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669385028284312229.post-77014670770484383052014-04-28T01:11:00.000-04:002014-04-28T01:11:30.043-04:00Sex sellsWhen I originally started writing my first book, my intention was not to have detailed sex scenes. But as I continued to read book after book, I noticed that all of them had sex scenes in them. I mean romantic relationships and sex go hand in hand so why wouldn't the stories include them? Yes, I could have written the story of Janie and Jake without the sex scenes, but to be able to share the passion, tenderness, and all the sensations you feel in those moments just adds to the story. I guess you could say that they are added bonuses. But isn't that what we all hope to find in a good romance novel? And I am talking ROMANCE novels, NOT erotica. What's the difference? Romance novels have a story, a plot, one that can be told without the sex. Erotica is simply just about the sex. I was talking to a friend about Cutting Through, and I had mentioned the shower scene. She didn't remember details about it, but she could tell me details about the love story and characters. I thought that was awesome, because it made me feel like the story overpowered the sex scenes to the point that you don't really remember them.<br />
Romantic fiction is the largest selling fiction sub-genre, so I guess we know what that means. Yup, women read more than men, and sex sells!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14140447882569823609noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669385028284312229.post-28264331403664036652014-04-24T01:19:00.000-04:002017-06-25T20:58:43.671-04:00What's your name?I have been asked why I didn't use a pen name. I guess I never really thought to use one. I wanted people to know that I, Amy Heileman Ben-Kiki wrote a book. Whether people like it or not, think it's crap or love it, it's my work and I'm proud of it. I have been called so many other things my entire life, I finally have something that is mine and I wanted MY name on it!<br />
I grew up being the youngest of four. This meant that 99% of the time I was NOT Amy. I was called all of my sister's names or I was simply so and so's sister. After that, when I started dating my husband, I then became Jay's girlfriend/wife. I get it, he holds a higher rank in our jobs and he's a bigger presence than I am, and that's ok.<br />
When I had my kids, I then became Chase and Cooper's mom (my favorite name so far.) At their school where my mother-in-law teaches I am Joyce's daughter-in-law. <br />
I guess I feel like I have had so many names my whole life, that I really didn't want to add another. I just simply wanted people to know me by my name. My REAL name. Just for a moment, I wanted to be known as Amy Heileman Ben-Kiki!<br />
And now I'll happily go back to being so and so's sister, Jay's wife, Chase and Cooper 's mom, Joyce's daughter-in-law, and so on...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14140447882569823609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669385028284312229.post-62578387157851202062014-04-17T02:26:00.000-04:002014-04-17T02:26:46.716-04:00Cause you gotta have faith!!The story of Maggie and Drew has become so much more than I originally thought. The subject of God and faith have taken over the storyline completely. But as I have stated before, I am not a religious person, so this book is not preaching to the reader. The characters are all different in their levels of belief. It all comes down to what you believe in deep down inside. I think that a lot of people need to believe that there is a higher power to help them accept certain things in there life. Other choose to believe because it gives them comfort, and some don't believe at all. <br />
I was raised going to church on Sundays with my family, attending Sunday school and confirmation classes, but I have chosen not to believe. I do however feel that being taught the lessons in the bible has made me a better person. That is why I send my kids to a religious school. The lessons they are learning are those of morals and decency, to name a couple. Because I am not religious, I know this would be the only way my children would learn the same valuable lessons I did when I was growing up. I mean I do teach my children right from wrong, but to have the fear of judgement instilled in you doesn't hurt.<br />
In a way I am a lot like Drew, but also very similar to Maggie in some ways. I can't wait to finish it so that my readers can experience the power of faith and believing!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14140447882569823609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669385028284312229.post-88265319007857825412014-04-10T01:31:00.000-04:002014-04-22T20:43:05.813-04:00What's with all the music?To continue from my last post, regarding the music aspect of my writing. Most of you know from my profiles that I LOVE music. And as I said in my last post, songs inspire some of the scenes that are created in my head. Sometimes I feel like my own words can't truly express the full emotion of what I want to have come across to the reader, so I share the song that brought me to that place. It's not just the words of the song, but the tone, tempo, melodies of the music. Imagine watching a movie and there was no soundtrack. A lot of times it's the music that brings you to the emotions the screenwriters want you to feel. When I write my books, I am sharing the story of the "movie" that is playing in my mind. I can describe to you in words the emotions, but I feel like adding the music pushes the reader to the next level of emotion. Music, in many ways has saved me from the brink of insanity. It has helped me through some really tough times and helps me remember the good times. It is a huge part of who I am, so naturally I would have to include it in my writing. Sometimes I wish that I had an ounce of musical talent so that I could write songs, but I don't. Not at all!!! So I do what I can to tell you their stories. I may not be the best writer, but I hope I'm a great storyteller!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14140447882569823609noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669385028284312229.post-33754212104906988402014-04-01T12:21:00.003-04:002014-04-22T20:45:16.351-04:00Gotta let it flowPeople have asked me if I use notebooks to write my thoughts down. A lot of writers do, but I have to say that I am not one of them. The reason for this is simple. Fear. The times I get stuck the most are the places in between my thoughts. I know that doesn't make sense. I will try my best to explain. My stories come to me in pieces, almost like little movies. A lot of times it's from listening to a certain song that will inspire a vision, almost like my own personal music video. So I have all these little movies in my head and need to somehow put them all together to make a story. If I were to write down each vision as it's own piece then I fear that I won't be able to connect them. So, I hold them inside my head and tell the story from the start and hope that it will help allow the story to flow out of me better. <br />
I do have to say that there was one time I did write a scene down, and that was again, because of fear. It had come to me very early in the writing process of Cutting Through. It was taking me a long time to get to the scene, since it was closer to the end. I couldn't take having it rattle in my head any longer, so I wrote it down. I feared that if I didn't get it out and on paper that it would eat me alive. It was the scene where Janie and Kyle meet up at the bar and the incident in the parking lot. That was an intense scene for me to write, so I felt if I didn't get it out of me soon, I would go crazy. <br />
Not every one is going to understand how my brain works. Most of the time I don't. Some may think that what I just said sounds absolutely nuts, and maybe it is. But I don't care. I never asked for my brain to work this way, but I'm glad it does. I love telling stories, and my hope is that people will enjoy reading them just as much.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14140447882569823609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669385028284312229.post-35966163520865104372014-03-30T03:01:00.000-04:002014-04-22T20:45:41.055-04:00So emotional!I'm finding that as I write my second book, I am a lot more emotional than I was with the first. I know it's probably because the storyline is more somber than "Cutting Through" was at the beginning. I mean I get misty eyed thinking about the prologue, and was wiping tears from my cheeks as I wrote chapter three. I have thankfully never experienced the type of lose that my characters have faced, so to try to share with you their stories is a challenge. I'm hoping that having these personal reaction as I write are a sign that I am doing them justice. I want the reader to feel the pain and heartache that Maggie is going through. I think it's important that they can connect with her emotionally. I want my characters to feel like real people, and not just a fictitious cast. People have said that Janie and Jake were relatable characters, so I'm hoping you'll feel the same way about Maggie and Drew.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14140447882569823609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669385028284312229.post-35608683941562954242014-03-23T22:38:00.000-04:002014-04-22T20:46:20.637-04:00Putting it in perspectiveIf you read my first book, you'll see that I write in the perspective of both the male and female main characters. I had never read a book like that until just recently when I started reading books like a mad woman last year. I fell in love with the fact that I knew exactly how both people were feeling and reacting. As I was writing "Cutting Through" I felt that giving the reader both views from the first person perspective helped them understand the entire relationship between Janie and Jake. The reader was able to understand them as individuals better and form a connection with both of them. I think that having both views tells the complete story of their relationship. I have seen some authors write sequels of a book in a different view, which I guess is a great way to sell more books, but I don't care about that as much as I care about giving the reader a full view into the relationship of the couple. I am also writing "Back To Me" in the same style. I hope that my readers enjoy it as much as I do.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14140447882569823609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669385028284312229.post-26521954482824513172014-03-20T15:35:00.000-04:002014-03-20T15:35:39.675-04:00So, as I write my newest book, "Back To Me," I find that the story is taking me to a whole new subject that I was not expecting to dive into. My characters are both challenged with the thought of God and the after life and believing that when you die, you are able to remain in the lives of your loved ones. This is something that I have battled with myself. I am not a believer in God, but I have been on the fence about where we go after we die. I love watching shows like Ghost Hunters and believe that a persons energy can stay behind, but I do not believe that there is a heaven or hell. My sister once told me that she had received a sign from our grandmother that she was safe and happy in heaven with my grandfather and uncle. I believe my sister had that experience and I believe that my grandmother was able to give her that sign, but I can't explain how she was able to do that, and that is what really disturbs me. I am one of those people that likes to have solid evidence. This book should be a very interesting journey for me. I can't wait!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14140447882569823609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669385028284312229.post-61289520649265840292014-03-14T22:56:00.000-04:002017-06-25T21:00:18.134-04:00Fact or Fiction?A lot of people have asked me in different ways if "Cutting Through" is actually an autobiography. The answer is NO. I will admit that there are a few similarities but the story is completely fiction. These are just a few of the questions I know people are dying to have answered!<br />
Did I write the sex scenes from experience? Well, I have had sex, I have seen a few movies and read a few books, so I guess I have to say yes to that one. <br />
Is my best friend really that much of a bitch? ABSOLUTELY NOT! I love my best friend to pieces. She has always been my biggest supporter and has put up with so much of my BS, if anything I am the jerk. <br />
Is my mother that mean? No. My mother, like every mother, can drive me bonkers, and she doesn't always agree with me but I can't imagine she would disown me.<br />
Do I have psychological problems? Doesn't everyone? <br />
Is my husband Jake? Sometimes I do think my husband is bi-polar, but it hasn't been medically proven. Hahaha. But seriously, no he is not! <br />
I definitely can relate to both Janie and Jake and I'm sure there will be parts of me in Maggie and Drew as well, but my stories are not my own, they are my character's and no one else's.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14140447882569823609noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669385028284312229.post-10129260242405098432014-03-10T03:00:00.000-04:002014-04-22T20:43:40.002-04:00Let's talk about sex, babyWhen I first started letting people read my book, I was really embarrassed about the sex scenes. But my friend Amelia told me that I needed to treat it as part of my craft. And she is absolutely right. I write stories about love and relationships. Sex is very much a part of that. I believe that showing how people interact on all levels is very important to showing the dynamics of their relationship. How someone touches you, kisses you shows a lot about how they feel about you. What you are willing to allow another person to do to you and how much you trust them is very important. Being intimate with someone brings you to a vulnerable place, and allows you to move to a new level of your relationship. <br />
Not everyone is as open to sex and different sexual acts. I guess that was why I was so shy about it before. Sex has been taboo for so long. But we are all human, all needing and wanting to have someone take us to that place of ecstasy. This is not something we should be ashamed of. This is something we all do in some way or another. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14140447882569823609noreply@blogger.com0