Monday, August 11, 2014

Under Pressure

So, I said I was going to try something new to help me out of my slump.  One problem...  I CAN'T write!!!  I haven't written a single thing in over two weeks!!!  I'm forcing myself to write this right now.  Why you ask?  Well that is an excellent question.  I have been asking myself that for the last two weeks.  But I think I might have finally figured it out.


I have been extremely stressed out in all areas of my life.  I was hoping a vacation from work would have helped but it didn't.  It actually made things worse, go figure. Although it was great getting away from the daily bullshit of my full-time job, instead I got to stay home and deal with the daily bullshit of my kids on summer vacation.  Now don't get me wrong, I love my boys, but my God they can drive a person nuts!  I was starting to think they had turned into vampires due to their reluctency of spending any time in the sunlight!
I had planned to get so much writing done on this vacation.  It started out great but then fizzled fast.  Had an emotional meltdown causing me to lack the motivation to do anything and then after a week of not a single word, I began to panic.  I want this new book done before the end of the year.  Setting a mental deadline was putting pressure on me.  Everyday that I wasn't writing something was another day closer to missing that deadline.  But every time I looked at the netbook I just kept walking past it.  I didn't want to sit in front of it and feel like a failure.
Now I'm back at work and the stress has doubled.  I hate this time of year!  The week before the kids go back to school is always extremely stressful for me.  My babysitters become less available, work becomes crazy and my husband (due to our schedules/jobs) becomes a figment of my imagination.
I'm hoping that now that I have figured out what is causing my problem I can start to fix it.  I was thinking I could take up drinking, but that usually never ends well.  So, any ideas to help me destress are welcome.  Any help I can get to get "back to me."
See what I did there?  I crack myself up!

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