The whole process only took me about 20 years! I was scared to get one because I didn't want to regret my choice in a year or two. If I did a picture or a name or even a symbol, would it be relevant to me in the future? So I waited. But last year was the year, the year of me. I accomplished so many things for myself and I wanted to celebrate it. So I sat down and drew a few designs, but still wasn't sure, and then it hit me.
Years ago I had written a poem and the last line of it (although the poem is about a different circumstance) just fit my life at that moment, so that was what I decided on. I knew that having something that I had personally written would be relevant and have meaning forever. The poem is actually about being strong enough to fight your way back to yourself. In a way that was what I was doing last year. Writing this book was a dream of mine that I had put on the back burner so that I could be a wife and mother. I kind of lost who I was along the way. You get lost in your roles of life and sometimes forget who you were.
This book is who I am and what I want to be doing. I love that my kids were able to be part of the experience and see that you can make your dreams come true if you fight hard enough.
So I will show off my tattoo and be proud of it and of myself. I proved that I am strong enough to do the things I've dreamed of doing even though they may scare the shit out of me! And that is why I named my second book Back To Me. It was the perfect fit for the story.
Here is the poem in it's entirely:
By Amy Heileman Ben-Kiki
I remember running into you
Our eyes met and my heart
Raced furiously from head to toe.
Your bright smile blinded me
from seeing anything
Other than you.
I remember running to you
When you said that you loved me.
These words deafened
Me from reason
And made me sense
What wasn't there.
I remember running with you
On the sun stroked beach.
The world disappeared
With the sensations of your lips.
The warmth that filled me
Took the chill from the air.
I remember running from you
When you raised an open fist.
Your jealous rage had
Thrown me to the ground and
Awoken me from a deep unconscious.
And I remember running back.....